Angel's Destiny
by Python Chick
Summary: After nearly a century of saving lives, Angel regains his own and meets the new Slayer. A/?, A/B. Please R/R.


Disclaimer: I own Jade, Rowan, Jake, Sam, Dianté, Kremlin, and the children: Liam Harris, Erin Harris, and Grace Wyndham-Pryce. The rest belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB.  
  
Finished: November 25, 2000  
  
~~ Angel's Destiny ~~  
  
~~ Prologue ~~  
  
Almost a century had passed since Wesley first read the prophecy to me. I was going to become human...all I had to do was survive the coming darkness, the apocalyptic battles, a few plagues, and several fiends that were unleashed on Earth. The thing that got me through all that crap, was knowing that I would be human. But at the same time I wished for death. The love of my life and unlife, Buffy, had surely passed on and I wanted to be with her in the afterlife. I'd never seen her again since she retired from being the Slayer on her 26th birthday. She didn't see me, but I came to Sunnydale and peered through Giles' windows, wanting so badly to go inside and hold her and kiss her. But I couldn't hurt her again. I kept that memory with me through all the battles and plagues and it kept me sane...no, she kept me sane.  
  
I'm sure she moved on, got married, probably had a couple of kids...and it hurts to think about it. Not that I'm not happy for her...I'm glad she was able to continue on with her life. But I wanted to be hers forever...I wanted to hold her and love her and talk to her and tell her that it killed me to leave her and that I never would again. But I wasn't. I never moved on. I loved her more everyday and I still love her.  
  
Sure there were other girls that stirred my interest...but I never acted on my feelings because I didn't want them. It was lust, not love. Every one of them looked like Buffy, and when I saw them smiling or laughing, I wanted to walk up to them and hold them, just as I did with her. But I didn't...I lurked in the shadows and obsessed over them until it drove me crazy and I had to leave LA. There were too many reminders of her beautiful face and her wonderful scent...not perfume, but the scent of her soft skin mixed with her shimmering hair. And of course the smell of her blood. It was strong and defined, like no girl ever before. I hate to admit it, but I also loved that. What can I say? Vampires notice that stuff too.  
  
After my friends started aging, Angel investigations closed down and I started working on my own. Gunn had been attacked by a poisonous demon and died an hour later in his sleep. He was still very young, only about 25, and he had gone out to help someone without Wesley. I was in Sunnydale skulking around Buffy's 'retirement' party. Cordy and Wesley told me repeatedly that I should go see her but I wish I hadn't...I wish I had been with Gunn and could've prevented his death, but I was selfish.  
  
Cordelia and Xander married shortly after he came to LA to find her. Surprisingly enough, I was best man since I was the one to call him and tell him where to find her. She was in an abusive relationship and couldn't get out...I tried to help her but she didn't want my help and we got into a big fight about it and she never spoke to me. Dennis couldn't help her either, since her boyfriend knew about him and therefore never hit her in her apartment. She moved out of there and into his, and naturally I wasn't invited by either of them so I couldn't stop him. That's when Xander came to the rescue. He didn't need an invitation, he just needed me to break down the door for him, and then he found her in the bedroom crying and bruised. One look at his face and she was packed and ready to leave. They had two children: a boy named, Liam, after me; and a girl, Erin. I hate to use a cliché, but they actually lived happily ever after. Their children grew up, started families and Xander and Cordy passed away years later, surrounded by loved ones.  
  
Wesley married Virginia Bryce and they moved to England. He began working for the watcher's council and Virginia became a teacher. I visited a couple times but we grew apart when they had a baby girl, Grace, and Virginia felt uncomfortable with me being around the new arrival. Wesley and I wrote letters but they lost the baby when it was only a few weeks old. Virginia broke down and claimed it was my fault--that I had infected the baby with death--so she forbade Wesley to contact me. He knew it wasn't my fault as explained in the last letter he wrote, but Virginia was heartbroken and it helped her cope to place the blame on me. We left it at that, after all, I help people...right?  
  
So anyway, I left California and traveled around the world. I must have been to every country besides Sweden...too many blondes. The longest I'd lived in one place was in Canada. The people were nice enough...they didn't pry into my life while I saved theirs from vampires, demons, and other creatures bent on their demise. Although centuries had passed, people were generally the same lost souls as they were before. The clothing styles had changed and repeated a few times over the many years and it seemed as if they were on a loop...Cordelia would have died, again. There were many promises of them, but the anticipated 'flying cars' had not yet been patented. The summers were sunny and beautiful, and winters were dark and dreary...the latter being my ideal season since I couldn't feel the cold and didn't tan. I never did encounter the new slayer, although I wasn't really looking for her. I couldn't handle not having Buffy around. I met up with a couple good demons and we helped people and saved the world, then one day I just woke up with a heartbeat and an insatiable hunger...I was alive. I kept the name Angel and moved back to Sunnydale. My friends also left Canada and moved to various parts of the world. After a while we lost touch as I started making new, human friends and going out more. I finally felt that I would slowly be able to live without Buffy now that I was human.  
  
~~ Chapter One ~~  
  
So there I was, out with a couple of friends at The Den, formerly known as The Bronze, having a drink and listening to the music. They were looking at the girls on the dance floor and talking about which ones were the hottest. It had taken me a while to find the strength to go back there without Buffy.  
  
"Angel, that is one fine girl checking you out...and she's coming this way." my friend, Jake told me. My other friend, Sam, slapped me on the back as I took a sip of my beer. I nearly choked as I coughed and gasped for oxygen. When I had regained my ability to breathe, I looked up and saw the girl walking over to me. She was tall, young and had long black hair. She was wearing a long black skirt and a light blue top...very sexy.  
  
"Hi handsome. I'm Jade," she said sitting down beside me at the bar. My friends left me and went to go sit at a table. "I haven't seen you around here before...where're you from?" She flashed a sexy smile and it was then that I realized the fact that it had been almost a hundred years since I had last been with a woman...Buffy.  
  
I suddenly felt very nervous. "I'm from Ireland...originally, I mean...but I moved here a while ago...then to LA...then to Canada...then back here. I'm Angel." I said looking down shyly at my mug of beer.  
  
"You certainly are," she said grinning. I felt her eyes on me and she spoke up just as a slow song started playing. "Let's dance."  
  
"Um, okay," I said smiling nervously. *I used to be so good at this...at least when I was around Buffy.* I thought to myself. *I can't think about her, a have to move on...she would have wanted me to be happy.*  
  
Jade put her arms around my neck and pulled me close to her. I placed my hands on her waist and she laid her head down on my chest. I took a deep breath at the sudden closeness and I smelled her perfume. It was absolutely wonderful. I looked over at Jake and Sam. They were giving me the thumbs up and whistling quietly. I stifled a laugh.  
  
"So, how old are you?" she asked, still keeping her head on my chest.  
  
"I'm 28," I answered, a little more relaxed. I was 27 when I was vamped so I decided that I should continue from that age when I became human again. "How about you?"  
  
"22," she answered sighing heavily. I didn't know if she was flirting or serious but in all of my years of helping people, a sigh usually meant trouble.  
  
"What's wrong?" I asked sincerely. I heard her sniffling and I realized that she was crying. We stopped dancing and went to go sit at a table so we could talk quietly. After an hour or so, and five beers later, she was a little tipsy and very open. I wasn't drunk since I had only had three beers...I could handle my alcohol over two hundred years ago, and I could still handle it now. Jake and Sam had left a while ago, probably having hooked up with a couple of girls.  
  
"It's my boyfriend," she blurted out. "Well, my ex-boyfriend. He dumped me a while ago because he didn't understand the seriousness of my job."  
  
"He dumped you because of your job?" I asked incredulously. She quietly nodded.  
  
"He doesn't understand that it's an obligation, not a choice." she said, slurring a little on her S's. *Uh-oh,* I thought. *This sounds way too familiar.*  
  
"Maybe you should go home," I suggested softly. "I think you might have had a little too much to drink." I said.  
  
"No!" she said. "That's where he lives. I've been staying at my friend's house, but she left this morning to Chicago. She's visiting her folks."  
  
"Um, well, y-you could stay at a motel," I stuttered, I didn't like where this was going.  
  
"No, my job doesn't pay me money," she said. "And my boyfriend took care of me. I never had to pay for anything...just save the world from vampires."  
  
I was right, she was a Slayer. *What is it with me and Slayers?* I asked myself. Not wanting to hurt her feelings and make sure she was safe, I suggested that she stay in my apartment in the extra bedroom. She happily accepted and so we walked to my place and I made up the bed for her while she temporarily napped on the couch.  
  
I picked her up and carried her to her room. I laid her down and was bent over her covering her up with the quilt when she woke up, put her arms around my neck and planted a kiss on my lips. It took me a minute to realize what was happening and I pushed her away.  
  
"We can't do this," I told her.  
  
"Yes we can," she insisted, pulling me down onto the bed...she was incredibly strong.  
  
She kissed me again and held me close against her. I couldn't escape her grasp and I'm not totally sure that I wanted to. After a few minutes, she became drowsy and I was finally able to pull away from her. "Good night, Jade." I said. I knew that if I let anything happen, we would both regret it in the morning...well, at least she would. I locked my bedroom door behind me, undressed, and flopped into bed. I fell asleep immediately and dreamed of Buffy. We were together in The Den and our song "I'll Remember You" by Sophie Zelmani was playing. I hadn't heard that song in so long.  
  
"I love you, Angelus." she said as we danced slowly.  
  
"I love you, Buffy," I replied. "I miss you so much."  
  
"Don't worry, my love," she cooed. "You will see me again, someday. And we will be together."  
  
~~ Chapter Two ~~  
  
When I awoke the next morning, I realized I must have been crying in my dream because my pillow was damp. The dream was so vivid, so real...except for Buffy calling me Angelus. I looked at my clock...9:30 am. *Good thing I don't have to work today.* I thought. I had been walking down the street one day when an older woman came up to me and asked if I was a model. I laughed and told her I wasn't. She handed me her business card and two weeks later I began my new career...although I knew it probably wouldn't last long now that I'd be aging. I'd only done a couple of photo shoots and some runway modeling for small businesses like tuxedo shops and men's clothing stores, but it was hard work and it paid pretty well.  
  
I got dressed and went to the kitchen for something to eat. I had to watch what I ate these days so I chose fruit and cereal. As I was looking in the fridge, Jade announced her presence.  
  
"Hi, Angel," she said smiling uncomfortably. I don't think she realized what happened last night. I decided not to remind her about what she told me about vampires or what she wanted to do.  
  
"Hi," I said casually. "How'd you sleep?" I brought out some grapes, two apples, and a carton of milk from the fridge.  
  
"Fine, I guess...um, did we--" she began.  
  
"No," I quickly assured her. "I slept in my room. You were kind of drunk last night and you said you had nowhere to go, so I let you stay in my spare room."  
  
"Oh, okay," she said, sighing with relief.  
  
"Do you want something for breakfast? Coffee...cereal...toast?" I asked.  
  
"Coffee would be great thanks, I have such a headache!" she exclaimed, putting her right hand to her right temple.  
  
We talked a more over breakfast and we learned more about each other. After a while I realized that I liked this girl. She learned that I was a model and I laughed when she said, "Please excuse me if I drool on your table." We had a great time over breakfast and when I asked if we could go out to dinner that night--no heavy drinking--she said she was busy. I had forgotten that she was the Slayer and would probably be patrolling. She still needed to find a place of her own and get a job since her boyfriend wouldn't be supporting her anymore. I told her she could crash at my place for however long she needed to. She said that she could stay at her uncle's house...I guessed that she meant her Watcher, since that's what Buffy's cover for Giles was.  
  
We hung out a lot everyday for about a week, and held hands, at her request, when she saw her ex-boyfriend...it was kind of familiar in a way, pretending to be involved to psyche the ex out but I couldn't quite place the memory. Later I realized that it reminded me of Faith and I before Buffy's graduation.  
  
One night, after dinner, Jade called me from her 'uncle's house' and said she wanted to go to dinner the next night...so we did. It was wonderful getting out again, with a very attractive girl...although my heart still ached for Buffy. That night at dinner, I told her about Buffy being my first love and a few details about our relationship--without the vampire and Slayer part--and showed her a picture of her that I kept in my wallet. Jade looked a little sad so I told her I was mostly over her and, without thinking, that she had died a long time ago.  
  
"Oh, Angel...I'm so sorry." she said putting her hands on top of mine.  
  
"It's okay," I said lying. "She was very sick." I felt bad and apologized to Buffy in my mind, hoping that she would hear me wherever she was.  
  
After dinner we went for a walk. It wasn't long before she looked at her watch and said she had to go. I felt the strange, familiar feeling of being around Buffy. Just as she was about to dash off, I grabbed her arms and kissed her. She kissed me back softly and wrapped her arms around my neck. I grabbed her waist and pulled her closer. My mouth moved down her chin and to her neck. I kissed her softly and was glad I didn't have the temptation to bite her...yet. "Come home with me," I whispered in her ear, still holding her lithe body against my strong one. At first she nodded her head at my suggestion, breathing heavily with passion, then quickly changed her mind.  
  
"No, I can't...I want to, believe me I really do...but I promised a friend I'd help her...move." she said quickly.  
  
"Okay," I said smiling; remembering the lame excuses Buffy used to give her mom. "Can I see you tomorrow?"  
  
"You can try," she said seductively. "Call me at my uncle's...you know the number."  
  
I kissed her quickly one last time before she ran off...in the direction of the cemetery. I chuckled, climbed into my convertible, and went home to a nice cold shower.  
  
~~ Chapter Three ~~  
  
The next evening the phone rang and I answered it, expecting to hear Jade's cheery voice on the other end. I had tried to call her earlier, but she wasn't home. It wasn't her this time...it was an older Englishman.  
  
"Hello, is, uh, Angel there, please?" he asked nervously, very much like Giles. I assumed it was her watcher.  
  
"Yes, speaking," I replied. *Why would he be calling me...unless he thinks I'm still Angel the vampire?*  
  
"This is Jade's uncle, Rowan" he said calmly. "I would like to talk to you as soon as possible...it's about Jade."  
  
"Is something wrong?" I asked worriedly.  
  
"Everything is fine, but something has come up and I need to speak with you in person." he said.  
  
"I'll be right there." I answered quickly before slamming the phone down and speeding off to her address in my car.  
  
I knocked on the door and the man answered the door with a cross in his hand. When he saw me he thrust it at me to try and scare me off. "Listen!" he said firmly. "I want you to tell me what you did to Jade! She didn't come home last night and I know she was out with you!" His hand was shaking and so was the cross.  
  
"Look, I'm not--" I started.  
  
"Shut up!" he yelled. "I've read all about you, Angelus. I know about your soul curse and how you fell in love with the Slayer, Buffy Summers and lost it." he produced a stake from behind his back. "I want you to tell me where Jade is and then I will kill you. And you can't come in b-b-because I performed the un-invitation spell."  
  
That was enough. He accused me of killing Jade...I loved Jade, I couldn't let him think that I was the murderous demon I used to be. "I didn't kill Jade. I don't suppose any of Rupert Giles' journals said anything about how I got my soul back and left to LA to help people? Or how it was prophesized how I would become human after surviving a century of demons and plagues?"  
  
"Not the prophecy part...but how can I be sure you're human?" he asked glaring at me through his glasses.  
  
"Enough of this bullshit, I'm going to find Jade!" I said spinning around and running back to my car.  
  
"Well I'm going with you, then...I don't want you alone with her!" he said slamming to door behind him as he followed me down the sidewalk.  
  
My car roared to life as Rowan closed the door and he had barely put on his seatbelt when I sped down the street towards the cemetery. He was still holding the stake in his left hand and the cross in his right. "Do you really think that cross will burn me?" I asked him smirking. "Just try it, it'll prove that I'm human."  
  
"You won't bite--" he started.  
  
"NO!" I hollered. "I'M NOT A VAMPIRE!" I grabbed the cross with my right hand, keeping my left hand on the wheel. When Rowan saw that my hand wasn't burning, he pulled it away.  
  
"How did it happen?" he asked slowly as I continued to drive.  
  
"I just woke up one day. I saw my reflection, felt my heart beat inside my chest, and didn't catch on fire when I stepped into the sun." I replied.  
  
Finally we reached the cemetery. Rowan handed me a couple of stakes and a cross...it was ironic to think that I would be using the things to save myself now that would have repelled me less than two years ago.  
  
We split up and I went to the 'newer' section of the cemetery. It didn't take me long to find her. She was lying on her back on top of a wide tombstone. I ran up to her and looked at her. She was still as beautiful as when I saw her last...aside from the two bite marks on her neck. I gathered her in my arms. "ROWAN!" I cried at the top of my lungs.  
  
"He won't hear you," a vaguely familiar voice answered from behind a large tree.  
  
"Who's there?" I called out into the darkness.  
  
"Don't you recognize my voice, Peaches?" it said.  
  
"Spike!" I spat out his name.  
  
"Did you miss me?" he said, stepping out from behind a tree. "It's been a long time. I thought you'd have died by now. So, the Slayer...I know you didn't kill her since you don't have your fangs anymore...so what gives?"  
  
"Who did this?" I asked him. "And where's Rowan?"  
  
"Now, now...you don't think I'd rat out an old friend do you? As for the Watcher...I found him rather tough." he said licking his lips.  
  
"You bastard...I--"  
  
"Yeah, yeah...you loved her too, right?" he asked raising an eyebrow. "Well, I didn't drain her...but I can't say the same for your first love, Little Buff...I told her one day I'd drink her. And the night she retired, I went in for the kill. She wanted it way too much though...she wanted me way too much." He grinned evilly. "You didn't even notice who's grave that is, did you?"  
  
I looked down at the inscription. It read: "Here lies Buffy Anne Summers. Friend, Daughter and Protector. January 1981 - January 2007"  
  
I laid Jade back down on the tombstone I found her on and hid a stake in my sleeve. I clenched my teeth and turned to Spike. "Let's go, Spike. I'll kill you before we even begin. She never wanted you...she would never have wanted to die by your hands."  
  
"But you're wrong Angelus," another voice came out from the darkness. I knew it from the first word. "I did want it...it was the only way we could be together."  
  
A small gasp escaped my lips when the figure stepped out from the shadows and stood behind Spike. "Buffy?"  
  
~~ Chapter Four ~~  
  
Buffy wrapped her arms around Spike's waist from behind him. "That's right lover...Spike found me sitting all by my lonesome right over there." she said, pointing to a nearby bench.  
  
"But, Buffy--" I began.  
  
"I know, I know...I'm a vampire and I'm all evil. But I still want you. Just as you wanted me when you were Angelus." she said. "Becoming a vampire was the only way to see you again. If I'd known you'd become human, I'd probably have let him kill me. But instead I begged for him to bring me back...I promised I'd do anything to see you again." She said grinning slyly at Spike, who grinned back just the same. "Absolutely anything."  
  
"You're not yourself, Buffy," I said, tears forming in my eyes. "Did you do this to Jade?"  
  
"What, is one Slayer not enough for you?" she asked. "When I saw you two together last night...with your hands on each other; kissing...I got a little hungry." She ran her tongue slowly over her pearl-white teeth.  
  
She let go of Spike and slowly and seductively walked towards me. She was wearing black leather pants and a deep purple top. I looked into her dazzling eyes and I lost myself in them. Even in death she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I didn't even notice that she had my stakes until she waved them in front of me. "Missing something?" she asked playfully. She tossed the stakes onto the ground beside her and pulled me closer to her. She was strong and her grip on my neck was tight.  
  
Slowly and gently she bent my head down so my lips met hers. She kissed me roughly and her lips were cool against mine. I was completely mesmerized with the flood of emotions of when we were together so long ago. My hands wrapped themselves around her waist and pulled her even closer against my chest. She chuckled with delight. My brain screamed for me to stop...this wasn't my Buffy...this was evil. But my heart begged me to keep kissing her, even though she wasn't the one I had fallen in love with. I missed her. I never thought I'd see her again. When she finally pushed me away from her I was gasping for breath. She started laughing...not her sweet Buffy laugh, but an evil, conniving laugh. Suddenly someone grabbed my arms from behind me, I assumed it was Spike since he wasn't around anywhere. His grip was firm and he twisted my arms upwards until I was on tiptoes trying to avoid the pain.  
  
Buffy stopped laughing. "Don't hurt him Spike!" she yelled when she saw my face contort with pain. When he didn't release his grip she picked up one of the stakes and hid it behind her back. "Oh Spike," she called softly in a singsong voice. "Why don't you let him go and come hurt me for a while?"  
  
Spike chuckled and slowly released his grip. He walked over to Buffy and grabbed her waist. He bent down kissed her neck, grazing her skin with his teeth. She groaned in pleasure and pulled him closer to her. I turned around to look at Jade. I felt bad for her...she was so young, but I realized that she was just a replacement for Buffy. I would always love Buffy and only her. Spike growled and I quickly turned back to face them. He had his vamp face on and was drawing the tiniest bit of blood from Buffy's neck. He stopped suddenly and straightened up. He let go of Buffy and looked down just as he exploded into dust. She had staked her sire for me.  
  
"Angelus," she said looking over at me. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Stay away from me," I said, though desperately wanting the exact opposite of that. I wanted her near me...I wanted to be with her. I continued my charade. "And stop calling me Angelus...I'm not him, I'm Angel...I'm human!"  
  
She snickered as she gingerly touched her neck. She pulled her hand away and noticed a little bit of blood on her fingers. She closed her eyes and slowly licked it off. I shut my eyes tight and shook my head, trying to rid my mind of my lewd thoughts; trying to bring myself back to reality. She knew exactly what she was doing to me, and she relished in it. "Angelus," she said opening her eyes and stepping towards me. She leaned in close to my right ear. "I want you," she whispered. "Take me home."  
  
I felt her cool breath on my neck and I swallowed hard. Suddenly I grabbed her arms and kissed her. This time her kiss was softer...full of love and need. As she locked her arms around my neck, I swept my right arm under legs and picked her up. I carried her to my car as she lightly kissed my neck...I was filled with passion and almost stumbled over a tree root. We laughed simultaneously as if we were drunk...we were together again. It didn't matter to me that she was a vampire...after all, I was one when we started dating, only now the tables were turned...and Buffy didn't have a soul. But deep down I knew she wouldn't bite me unless I let her. I drove to my apartment and all the way there, Buffy gazed lovingly at me. I led her up to my apartment and invited her in, of course. As soon as I closed the door behind her she frowned. "The Slayer has been here." she hissed, glaring at me with icy green eyes.  
  
"Nothing happened, and you know it...she just needed somewhere to crash for one night. You know I only love you." I said smoothly, flashing her a sexy smile. She grinned wickedly at me. My long lost Liam-charm had returned...all I needed was a little practice.  
  
She locked the door and took off my jacket kissing me all the while. It felt so good to feel her body against mine, the brush of her hair and the smell of her skin. I led her to the bedroom and she sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling me towards her by my belt buckle until I was standing directly in front of her. Then she leaned back and pulled me on top of her. We kissed hungrily for one another and she promptly ripped my shirt over my head. "You haven't changed a bit," she whispered as she eyed my chest.  
  
I chuckled breathlessly as I brushed a small wisp of her hair off of her face and behind her ear. "Neither have you."  
  
~~ Chapter Five ~~  
  
I woke up the next morning and I prayed that last night was real and not just another dream. I looked beside me on the bed and let out a relieved sigh. Buffy was sleeping soundly. I felt my neck where Buffy bit me...I had let her have a midnight snack and it was still a little sore. I cupped her chin and gently kissed her lips.  
  
Surprisingly, she pushed me away without even opening her eyes. "Spike, no! I told you that I didn't want--"  
  
"Buffy...it's me, Angel," I said interrupting her. It hurt me to hear her say Spike's name instead of mine.  
  
She opened her eyes suddenly and smiled at me. "Hi Angelus...um, Angel, I mean." I smiled back at her.  
  
"Good morning," I said, then looked at my alarm clock. "I mean, good afternoon."  
  
There was a bit of a silence until Buffy spoke up. "Angel, I need to talk to you," she said solemnly. "Years ago, when I became a vampire...it was because I wanted to be with you. But I want you to know that nothing happened between Spike and I...God knows that didn't stop him from trying though." she joked, then becoming serious again. "But I want you to know that I'm not a bad vampire."  
  
"What about Jade?" I asked, looking everywhere but at her face.  
  
"I didn't kill her," she answered. I turned to look at her. Her eyes were filled with sincerity and sadness. "Spike did. When I found out that you were back, I watched you. When you started hanging out with Jade, I was distraught. I was coming to talk to you that night when I saw you two kissing. I got upset and I ran back to Spike's place. I was crying and before I knew it, he had left to go kill her...I think he loved me." She said in a dazed voice. Suddenly snapping out of it, she added, "I never wanted to hurt anybody...in all my vampire years I've never killed one person. Angel, I still have my soul."  
  
My eyes widened. "Are you sure?" I asked, my eyes studying her beautiful face.  
  
"Spike told me that that's why vampires never turn Slayers...because they're still good...they're conscience doesn't die with them." she said.  
  
"But that...that was just a myth, we never really knew if it was true or not." I told her.  
  
"It is true, Angel. All these years, Spike's been trying to get me to kill people and be his evil girlfriend. Part of me wanted to do it... so badly," she said, tears forming in her eyes. "But I knew I had to fight it. I made Spike buy me blood from the butcher. I couldn't become a killer."  
  
I held her close to me and she cried on my shoulder. "It's been so hard," she said sniffling. "Watching Willow, Giles, my mom...everybody, grow old and die."  
  
"I know," I said sadly, holding back the tears in my own eyes. "I went through it too. But Buffy...I'm human again...I'll age and die too."  
  
She pulled back and looked at me. Her eyes sparkled green like emeralds. "Angel...when I told Willow that I wanted to become a vampire, she didn't understand...but I explained it to her. Why I wanted to do it...and why I had to." she smiled at me. "We looked in Giles' books, on the net and even in magic spell books. Finally we found what we were looking for...a cure for a vamped Slayer."  
  
I looked at her with an astonished look on my face. Questions raced through my mind. *A cure? How come I've never heard of it? Why didn't Xander tell me she was a vampire?*  
  
Buffy answered my last question as if she had read my mind. "I begged Xander not to tell you. I was afraid that if he told you about my turning, you might not have been able to fulfill your prophecy. I didn't want you to worry about me."  
  
"How did you know about--"  
  
"Cordelia told Xander...Xander told me. When I heard that you would be human again...I realized that I couldn't live without you." she said. A tear ran down her beautiful face. "I couldn't live without knowing what we could have had." I smiled a little...those words gave me a flash of déjà vu. I cupped her face with my hands and wiped the tear away with my thumb.  
  
"Last night...with Spike, that wasn't you, was it?" I asked her.  
  
"No," she said. "When you came to town I didn't want him to hurt you because he knew I still loved you...so I pretended to be evil. I secretly drank the packaged blood and then we'd go out hunting, but I never drank from anyone. I made up excuses not to. I got so caught up in trying to convince him that I was evil and that I wanted him--not you--that one night, things went a little too far," she swallowed hard and continued. "And we slept together."  
  
~~ Chapter Six ~~  
  
She looked down at my hands to take them in hers but I pulled them away. "I'm not telling you this to hurt you, Angel...but I want you to know how bad I feel about it."  
  
I swallowed hard and a tear fell down my face. Buffy brought a hand up to wipe it away, but I caught her wrist. "You...and Spike?" I spat out his name. I despised him...I wanted to kill him...again.  
  
"Angel, I didn't know what I was doing. I've had all these emotions built up in me for the last century, and when I saw you again--" she was crying and couldn't continue.  
  
"For the last week you've been acting for Spike...how do I know you're not acting for me now." I asked dejectedly.  
  
"It's not like that, Angel," she cried. "I love you...Spike was nothing to me...just a replacement. Like Jade was for me."  
  
"Don't you dare compare them. Jade may have been a replacement, but I never went that far." I lied.  
  
"I heard you! You wanted her to go home with you...excelled vampire hearing, remember what that's like?" she asked angrily.  
  
My face went pale and I'm sure she heard my heartbeat quicken. "Nothing would have happened. I wouldn't have let it go that far." I said honestly. "Before I kissed her, I sensed you. I felt your presence and for some strange reason, my mind thought she was you...before I could think twice, I kissed her." I wondered how our conversation was able to go from Buffy's situation to mine so fast. I looked into her eyes. "Look, I'm glad you told me about Spike. And I'm sorry about Jade...are we even then?" I asked, giving her my 'Liam's-Foolproof-I'm-So-Sorry-Smile'. I had used it so many times before when I was human...except this time I truly meant it.  
  
Buffy laughed as she nodded her head. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me. "You know I can't stay mad at you...I never could."  
  
"So what's this cure?" I asked her. "What are the ingredients?"  
  
"A full moon, someone who can read Latin spells, and a little of your blood." she explained.  
  
"Well, the next full moon is tomorrow night," I stated looking at the mini calendar on my nightstand. I turned back to her. "I can call up one of my friends in Las Vegas...he speaks fluent Latin, among other languages. I haven't used Latin in so long...I wouldn't want to make a mistake. As for my blood, you can have as much as you need...even if it kills me."  
  
"Thanks," she said smiling sweetly at me. "But I don't need that much blood...only about a cup. So who's your multilingual friend?"  
  
"Oh, that's Kremlin. We were friends when I lived in Canada, he helped me fight evil before I became human." I explained.  
  
"You actually have a friend named that?" she asked.  
  
"I've heard other weird names." I insisted.  
  
"Like what?" she tested me.  
  
"Hmm, let's see...Buffy, Xander, Willow, Oz, Cordy...do you want me to keep going?" I laughed.  
  
She chuckled a little, then vamped out. "Are you making fun of my name?" she said smiling. She was the most beautiful vampire I'd ever seen...even her fangs were sexy.  
  
"No, Buffy, I love your name. Please don't bite me...yet." I said, pretending to be scared. She started laughing and morphed back to her human visage.  
  
"Being a vampire is kind of fun. I don't know if I even want to be human again." she joked before I lightly hit her with my pillow. She growled quietly as I reached for the phone.  
  
After a couple rings Kremlin picked up. "Hello?"  
  
"Hey Kremlin, it's Angel...how are you doing?" I asked my demon friend.  
  
"Not too bad, where've you been lately? I haven't talked to you in a while." he said.  
  
"Sunnydale. Met up with some people, including the late Slayer." I said sadly. Buffy gave me a look as if to ask 'What do you think you're doing?'  
  
"Yeah, I heard about her...what happened?" he asked.  
  
"I'll tell you later," I said. "Something important has come up...can you get here by tomorrow night?"  
  
"From Vegas to Sunnydale in less than two days, eh? What's going down?" he asked.  
  
"You remember Buffy, my Slayer girlfriend?" I asked.  
  
"The blonde one in your wallet?" he asked me.  
  
"Yeah...well, to make a long story short, she got vamped a while back so that we could be together when I became human. There's a spell that can turn her back but it's Latin and we need you to read it on the full moon since you're the only one close enough to get here in time."  
  
"Wow that's...that's quite a story for you to tell your grandkids." he chuckled. "I guess can make it for an old buddy. I'll leave first thing tomorrow morning."  
  
"Thanks Kremlin, this really means a lot...to both of us." I gave him my address and nodded to Buffy. She squealed happily and threw her arms around me.  
  
"Was that her?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah," I replied looking into her eyes. "That's my Slayer."  
  
~~ Chapter Seven ~~  
  
As Buffy showered, I covered the windows with sheets to block the direct sunlight from entering. Only a couple hours until sundown, then we could go out together. *Buffy took forever to get ready when she was human, what is she going to do without being able to look in a mirror.* I chuckled to myself.  
  
That afternoon she asked me to go get her clothes from Spike's lair where she had been staying since she became a vampire. It had a musty smell and I quietly entered the dark crypt. A little light shone through the windows, enough to see my way around the place and what a sad looking place it was. Buffy didn't deserve to live here. It had a lamp, a TV, a small table and two unmatched chairs, a mini refrigerator and a bed. The bed that Spike and Buffy slept in. It all looked like it had been taken it from the city dump...which he probably had. *Spike has a TV and a mini fridge? Probably for Buffy's blood.* I thought. *But where did he get the electricity from?* My question was answered when I saw a few extension cords leading out through a hole in the window which probably led to a nearby house.  
  
I quickly packed her clothes into a small suitcase I'd brought. It was mostly leather pants and skirts as well as a bunch of tank tops and shoes. I never thought Buffy to be the leather type. I grabbed the packages of blood from the fridge and shuddered a little as I did. Centuries of drinking the stuff and I can't stand touching it now?  
  
I flicked on the lamp to help me see if I missed anything. I apparently did because when the light came on, I saw a blonde figure hiding in a corner. It was Harmony.  
  
"So, you actually made it?" she said.  
  
"Pardon?" I said, I knew what she was talking about but I wanted to stall until I could find something to kill her with. I wished I'd brought my stake...I thought I wouldn't need them since it was the daytime.  
  
"Duh, you became human!" she said rolling her eyes. "Spike told me about it a long time ago when he turned Buffy. Did you know he dumped me for her...and then she killed him! Would it have hurt her to let me have him? I loved him and I thought he loved me. I guess I've always known that he liked her a little too much...even when she was human." she prattled.  
  
"Well, Harmony, as much as I'd love to listen to you complain all day, I have things to do that are actually worthwhile." I said picking up the suitcase.  
  
"How would you like to be a vampire again?" she said, slowly walking towards me. "To kill people and not give a damn. Taking what you need...what you want."  
  
She stepped up close to me and smiled seductively. *What is with these Sunnydale women?* I asked myself. She whispered in my ear. "I could give it back to you. All the power...all the freedom. It could be yours in only three little words. Repeat after me: I...Want...You."  
  
I took a deep breath. I was such a sucker for women. "Okay, let me try," I said, trying my charm on her. I guess she bought it because she smiled and clasped her hands together. I continued. "Go...To...Hell!" With that, I swung the suitcase and hit her head with a sickening thud. She fell to the floor and I ran to the table and chairs. She came running towards me and I smacked her with the wooden chair, smashing it into about ten pieces. I bent down and grabbed a piece of wood with a sharp edge. I stood up and she was standing face to face with me...human face to vamped out face.  
  
"Never expected a decent fight from 'little Harmony', did you?" she said grinning, showing off her sharp fangs.  
  
"Actually no...I didn't," I said plunging the stake into her chest. "And I still don't." She turned to dust right before my eyes. I grabbed the suitcase and left the crypt.  
  
That night I made dinner, steak and salad for myself, blood for Buffy, and listened to the news on the radio. The anchorman began talking about a young woman and an older man found dead in the cemetery from extreme blood loss. I dropped Buffy's glass of blood, from the crypt, on the floor and sank to the ground. *Jade and Rowan,* I thought. *I left them there last night. How could I do that?*  
  
When Buffy came into the kitchen I was crying on the floor. Some of the blood had soaked into my clothes. She ran to me and kneeled down, carefully avoiding the glass on the bloody floor. "What's wrong?" she asked, searching my arms. I suppose she thought I'd cut myself with the broken glass.  
  
"We left them there," I answered. "I left her on your tombstone where Spike out her. I never even thought twice about them until now."  
  
"It's ok Angel," she cooed softly. "It wasn't your fault. There's nothing you could have done."  
  
"I could have--" I started.  
  
"Could have what? Hid the bodies? Buried them? Angel, that would make you an accomplice to Spike." she explained. "Look, I killed him...right now he's in hell, paying for what he did to his victims. You have nothing to feel guilty for."  
  
I nodded my head in agreement. After a few minutes I spoke up. "I ran into Harmony at Spike's lair," I said quietly. "Well technically, I ran a jagged piece of wood into her."  
  
Buffy gave me a little smile. "Still not much of a fighter, is she?" she asked.  
  
"Not really," I replied. "But she sure can take a hit or two."  
  
"When Spike dumped her, she came after me. All she could do was pull hair and slap...I easily beat her to the ground but she begged me to let her go."  
  
"She wanted to turn me back so she could have something that you wanted." I said, looking into her eyes. "But even as Angelus I would come back to you."  
  
Buffy smiled and helped clean up the glass and blood. "Only one more day after today, then I won't have to drink this delicious crap."  
  
~~ Chapter Eight ~~  
  
Buffy quietly stepped out of the bedroom and sneaked up behind me as I fixed my hair in the bathroom mirror. Since she had no reflection, I jumped a little as she slipped her hands around my waist.  
  
"Hey gorgeous," she cooed softly. "I love your outfit. You've always suited black."  
  
I looked at my clothes in the mirror. Black pants, black shirt, black leather duster...same ensemble as when I was a vampire. I smirked and turned around. When I saw what she was wearing my jaw nearly dropped to the floor. She was sporting a short leather skirt and a red tank top that revealed her midsection. She too had a black leather duster...it was the same one I'd given her nearly a century ago and she still looked as beautiful as ever in it. "You look stunning."  
  
"Thanks," she replied. "Does my makeup look alright? I guess I should be used to putting it on without a mirror since I have been for the past century." she laughed.  
  
"You look perfect." I answered sincerely. "Shall we go then?"  
  
"By all means." she said, linking her arm through mine.  
  
We went to the Den and had a couple drinks. At about 11:30 p.m., Jake and Sam entered the club. They walked to our table and sat down.  
  
"Angel, man," Sam said. "Where've you been for the last week, and who is this beautiful blonde babe?"  
  
"This is Buffy," I said as she smiled at the two practically drooling men. "Buffy, this is Jake and Sam."  
  
"Nice to meet you," Jake said. "Where have you been all of Angel's life and do you have a sister for me?" He joked.  
  
"I've been waiting for him all my life," she said smiling at me.  
  
"Angel, you always get the good ones," Sam said. "But if you'll excuse us, we're going to find ourselves some dates."  
  
I chuckled. "Good luck," I called after them as they walked away from the table, scanning the crowd. "Those guys are walking pick-up lines." I informed Buffy, taking a sip of my beer.  
  
She laughed. "Do they ever work on women?" she asked.  
  
"Sometimes," I answered. "But they're just players. They always use the 'I'll call you' line."  
  
"Ouch," she responded. "That's happened to me once and it was the worst. I was trying to get over you, and he said all the right things...I couldn't help myself. I relied on him for comfort."  
  
"Parker, right?" I guessed.  
  
"Yeah, how'd you know?" she asked me.  
  
"Spike told me before," I answered casually. "When he was torturing me with hot pokers for the Ring of Amarra. I wanted to come back and kill that bastard."  
  
She smiled. "Did you ever use the ring?"  
  
"Yeah, once," I said. "After I killed the vampire that stole it from Spike. I stepped into the sun for the first time in hundreds of years. It was so bright...so beautiful."  
  
"Do you still have it?" she asked grinning wickedly.  
  
"No, I smashed it." I told her. "It would have been too tempting. Besides, people needed my help at night. And if I ever lost my soul again, everybody would have been in big trouble...especially you. We both know how Angelus obsessed over you. His invincibility would have been impossible to stop."  
  
"That's good...no vampire should have that much power," she said looking down at her empty glass. She looked up at me with her flashing green eyes. "Let's dance."  
  
We danced for the entire night, until 3:00 a.m. when the club finally closed. They practically had to kick us out.  
  
Buffy and I stayed out the entire night and walked around town. Not many stores were open this late, only bars and nightclubs. The ones we came across that were open, we entered and danced until they too closed. Surprisingly enough, no demons or vampires disturbed us. Either they left us alone because: a) They recognized Buffy as the Slayer turned vampire and I as Angelus, my evil vampire alter ego, and were afraid of us; b) Spike, known as one of the most dangerous vampires in the world, had died by our hands; or c) We were one of those sickly sweet couples that were oblivious to the rest of the world and they didn't want to bother with us.  
  
At 4:30 a.m. we walked home hand in hand chattering and laughing like a couple of teenagers. When we finally returned home, we made love and as Buffy fell asleep in my arms, I looked out of the bedroom window at the bright moon. It would be full the next evening and Buffy would be human. I too dozed off and envisioned a life with Buffy. In the back of my mind I desperately hoped that Kremlin would arrive on time.  
  
~~ Chapter Nine ~~  
  
"Where is he Angel?" Buffy asked worriedly the next evening. She had brought out the Latin incantation and kept double-checking to see if it was clear enough to read. "He should have been here by now...it's only a five hour drive."  
  
"I know," I said, looking at my watch. It was nearing midnight and the moon was finally full. "He'll be here, don't worry yourself. Kremlin never let me down before, and he wouldn't start now."  
  
Two hours later there was a knock at the door. I ran to open it. It wasn't Kremlin though. It was one of my other demon friends, Dianté...actually he was half-demon. He had a human figure but had supernatural powers...much like Doyle, one of my partners at Angel Investigations. I was very relieved to see him because he could read Latin, and if Kremlin wasn't here on time, Dianté could fill his shoes.  
  
"Angel," he said breathlessly, clearly he had been running. "Kremlin couldn't make it in time so he called me and I flew in from Lansing. Sorry I'm late but he--"  
  
"There's not much time," I interrupted, pulling him inside and shutting the door behind him. "Here's the spell, we need to start right away. Sorry to rush you."  
  
Dianté quickly read the instructions aloud in English. "The incantation must be read aloud first in Latin without interruptions. Then repeat in English without interruptions. If any occur, you must start again. After the incantations are finished, the Slayer must drink directly from her true love at least one cup of blood. Then the Slayer will lie as if dead. If she wakes within a half-hour, her soul will be saved." he swallowed nervously.  
  
I breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, let's get started."  
  
Dianté spoke up. "You didn't let me finish...If not, she will arise the next evening with vampirity and without human conscience."  
  
Buffy gasped. "Angel," she cried. "I don't want to be evil."  
  
I hugged her tightly. "You won't, Buffy, don't worry. This will work."  
  
"If it doesn't," she whispered. "You know what to do."  
  
I nodded my head. I knew what I would have to do...I would have to kill Buffy.  
  
Buffy lay down on the bed and closed her eyes, holding my hands in hers as I sat close beside her. Dianté began to read the spell aloud.  
  
"Le Pontenzi Che Sono, guar questa ragazza. Restituirla alla sua condizione precedente. È gentile e buona, lei appartiene nel mondo umano. Le Pontenzi Che Sono, prego gli danno la vita. Restituirla con questa anima che beve. Lasciare il suo in tensione il resto dei suoi giorni con un cuore sano e battente." he finished and nervously wiped his forehead. But nobody spoke a word. The full moon would be gone in less than three hours. Then Dianté began the second reading.  
  
"Powers That Be, heal this girl. Return her to her previous state. She is kind and she is good, she belongs in the human world.Powers That Be, please give her life. Return it with this blood she drinks. Let her live the rest of her days with a healthy beating heart."  
  
Buffy sat up and looked deep into my eyes. I nodded my head and swallowed hard. She let her demonic visage surface and she gently bit into my neck. The pain was blinding at first, because I was so nervous, but it dulled a little after she began to drink. When she had taken the sufficient amount, her face returned to its previous state and she fell back lifelessly onto the bed. Dianté and I watched her silently for ten minutes before I had to leave the room. I went into the bathroom and washed the blood off my neck before lying down on the cold tiles and closing my eyes. I couldn't believe she was doing this. She was risking her life, again, to be with me. *What if she doesn't wake up? I don't want to kill her...I can't kill her. Am I worth all this trouble?* I thought to myself.  
  
"You must be worth it," I heard Dianté's voice say. I looked up at him and he smiled down at me. I had forgotten that he could read minds. "Don't worry, she won't die...you said so yourself."  
  
"I think I was mostly trying to convince myself of that," I said quietly. "She has to survive this...she's died before and was brought back. She's a strong person, but I'm not. If she dies, so will I."  
  
"Everything will be fine...but if worst comes to worst, I'll stake her for you...that is, if you want me to." he offered sadly.  
  
"No, I'll do it...I want to say goodbye myself." I said. Then changing the subject, "Thanks for flying in tonight, Dianté. It really means a lot to me that you could make it."  
  
"It was nothing." he said waving his hand. Noticing his watch, he grabbed my hand and pulled me up on my feet. "You'd better get in there. I'll wait out here for you." It was time to see if Buffy would wake or not.  
  
I stood beside the bed and watched her closely. There was only five minutes left in the half-hour. She was not moving and was not breathing. I watched her eyes carefully for any signs of movement. She did not stir. Nor did she for the next ten minutes. I collapsed onto the bed beside her and began to cry. I had lost my first and only love to the demon inside of her. Never again would I hear her sweet, genuine laugh. A mocking, evil one would take its place as she destroyed me emotionally. Her smile wouldn't be for me anymore, but for the pain she would deliver to my heart as she mocked our love, just as Angelus had done to her. I opened the drawer to my nightstand and gripped the sharp wooden stake lying inside. I knew what I had to do.  
  
~~ Chapter Ten ~~  
  
I watched her invariably for the entire day; I hardly even blinked. Dianté slept on the couch in the living room. He had stayed awake all night, waiting for something to happen. I told him to get some sleep and that I would keep watch. I held the stake in my hand tightly, expecting the worst. I prepared myself to kill her after saying a quick goodbye when she woke. I convinced myself that it was for the best and that it was what Buffy wanted.  
  
When Dianté woke up, he came into the room with a plate of various foods. "Thanks," I whispered. But I had lost my appetite and could not eat.  
  
"Anything new?" he said. I shook my head in reply as I held her hand. "I hate to say this...but I have to leave tonight. I have a 7:30 flight back to Lansing. They need me back at work. You should eat something, Angel...you don't look well."  
  
I nodded and grabbed a grape off of the plate and swallowed it whole. It hit my empty stomach and I felt like throwing up. How could I be thinking of eating at a time like this? I picked up the plate and threw against the wall across the room. It hit with a satisfying smash. I was furious. Why did Buffy do this for me? She gave up her life to be with me...and even that wasn't possible. Obviously the Powers That Be did not think that we belonged together...that it wasn't meant to be. Tears fell down my face and blurred my vision. I brushed them away angrily with my hand. I didn't want to stop looking at her face...it would be the last time I would see it for a long time.  
  
At 6:42 p.m. the sun began to set and as if on cue, Buffy's eyes began to move under her eyelids. Fresh tears formed in my eyes as I realized the time had come. Her head moved slightly from side to side as she slowly woke from her slumber.  
  
"I love you, Buffy," I whispered and I kissed her softly on the lips. "Goodbye."  
  
I lifted the stake and brought it down. Dianté burst into the room and yelled for me to stop...I did--an inch from her chest. Buffy flinched awake at the sudden noise and inhaled suddenly. It had been so long since she had last taken a deep breath and the oxygen had hit her lungs like a ton of bricks. She coughed loudly and gasped for breath. The same thing happened to me when I became human.  
  
Dianté reread the last part of instructions to me. "If she wakes within a half-hour her soul won't be saved. If not, she will arise the next evening without her vampirity, and with human conscience."  
  
My eyes widened as I turned to look at him. "I almost killed her." I said in a daze. "She almost died because of three words."  
  
"I'm so sorry, Angel," he said sincerely. Then added quickly, "I'm a stupid idiot and I made a horrible mistake and I understand if you never want to speak to me again."   
  
I shook my head as Buffy finally regained her breath. She tried to speak but her voice was a hoarse whisper. I gently brushed her hair off of her face and smiled at her. "You made it," I said watching her heart beat furiously under her chest. I hugged her close. "I love you."  
  
She nodded weakly and smiled at me. She tried to raise her arms to hug me but she couldn't, she was temporarily paralyzed. The lack of blood in her system for a day left her limbs unmovable. She would slowly regain their movement as the blood flowed through her veins. She looked at the water and licked her dry lips. I held the glass of water for her to drink. She sipped it and groaned in pain when the cold water hit her stomach. After a few minutes she could finally move. She gasped as the 'pins and needles' feeling covered her body with each action.  
  
"Buffy," I said quietly. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Yes Angel," she replied putting her hand on her heart in spite of her tingling nerves. "I am now."  
  
She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tight. She started crying and as I rocked her soothingly. "I felt it," she whispered. "I felt like I was losing my soul...that I was losing myself."  
  
"Nothing happened...you're safe now." I told her.  
  
The time came when Dianté had to leave so Buffy came with us when I drove him to the airport. She thanked him incessantly until he disappeared around the corner through the boarding gate. On the way home I told Buffy what the translation really read and she started crying, I figured it was because she was so tired. Then she told me how a part of her wanted to wake up but she had to fight it and stay asleep, even though she didn't know why. She thought it was her vampire-self fighting to stay asleep, but in fact it was her human conscience. She told me how she felt both sides fighting over her body and dreamed of both lives. I don't think she noticed, but I had tears in my eyes as we pulled into my apartment's parking lot.  
  
She was tired for the rest of the evening but refused to sleep since she learned that she had been sleeping all day. We watched movies, ate junk food and stayed up until 1:30 a.m. until she finally fell asleep on the couch. I carried her into the bedroom and tucked her in, then went to the kitchen. I sat at the counter and rested my head in my hands, supported by my elbows on the table. I took deep several deep breaths before it really hit me. Buffy almost died. I felt a wave of nausea pass over me and I ran to the sink to throw up. I slowly lay down on the floor and fell asleep, my body trembling and hot tears stinging my eyes.  
  
~~ Chapter Eleven ~~  
  
I woke up and a cold sweat beaded my forehead. I went into the bathroom and splashed water on my face. That dream was so real. I walked silently into the bedroom where Buffy slept. She looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake her and tell her about it, but I had to talk to someone. I shook her awake gently.  
  
"Buffy," I whispered and swallowed hard. "I need to talk to you."  
  
She opened her eyes and smiled at me. "What is it?" she asked, frowning when she saw my worried expression.  
  
"I dreamed it again." I said, trying to shake the hideous thoughts out of my head.  
  
"What happened this time?" she asked, hugging me and stroking her hands through my tousled hair.  
  
"The same as always. I become human, move here then I find you as a vampire and perform the spell to turn you back to a human." I said.  
  
"It's okay, Angel." she said soothingly. "That did happen."  
  
"Except in my dream, the spell succeeded and you became human again." I said, my body trembling as I uttered the word human.  
  
"Look at me. Am I human?" she asked, looking into my eyes. I shook my head in reply. "Then you have nothing to worry about. I will never be human again and nobody I can think of would attempt to curse you again either. As long as we stay away from gypsies, wiccas and the Slayer, we'll be safe." She leaned her head against the wall and I lay down on the bed beside her, on my back and resting my head on her firm stomach. Her cool hands caressed my face lovingly and ran through my hair.  
  
"I hate that dream," I muttered. "I like it so much better when you wake up and turn me back into Angelus."  
  
"I know you do and I hate it for how much it upsets you," she said. "But pretty soon you will adjust and stop having good dreams. You know how it is."  
  
It was true. After a few months I would stop having the recurring dreams of my human life, just as I did when I first became Angelus. The dreams of Jade, Rowan, Jake and Sam would stop haunting me and would soon be replaced with dreams of Buffy and I together, killing, torturing and maiming the innocent people of Sunnydale. My favorite recurring dream has always been the night when the spell went wrong. I had held her in my arms when she woke up during the half-hour. I thought she was human so I held her close to me...then she bit into my neck and drank my blood. "Don't worry," she had whispered through her blood-covered fangs. "The pain will be gone soon enough, Angelus." It was then that I realized she had planned to turn me. I admit, I wasn't as scared as I should have been. I thought that an unlife with Buffy would be kind of fun. I guess I still had a little Angelus in me at the time.  
  
"You know what really bothers me?" I asked her, letting out an annoyed sigh. "Is all those years of fighting the bad guys to earn back my humanity...and just when I was rewarded with a second life, I turn evil again. With all that wasted time we could've had some fun killing our friends instead of letting them grow old and die naturally. Xander, Cordelia, Wesley, Willow...especially Willow. She was always so nice and compassionate. I would have enjoyed torturing her. I could have pretended to have my soul back again and she would probably have forgiven me." Buffy grinned and laughed sinisterly. I loved her vampiric laugh...it echoed in my ears and made my blood boil.  
  
"Remember that I would have still been the Slayer at that time." she said in a mocking, goody-goody type voice while rolling her eyes. "I probably would have tried to give you your soul back or something inane like that."  
  
"So, where do you want to go hunting tonight?" I asked, turning my head to look at her beautiful face. Although the sun was still out, the room was completely dark considering we had boarded up the windows. I could still see her features distinctly...my eyes were stronger than the darkness.  
  
She grinned at me. "The Den is always a good choice. We'll split up, seduce our victims and meet in the alley to feed...just as we always do."  
  
"We need something new." I suggested. "We're predators...we're supposed to pursue, not wait for the prey to find us."  
  
"I know, but I find it much more fun to tease them first." she said. "Stalking is what a lion does, slinking in the shadows. Snakes draw their prey nearer to them with intrigue and beauty, then strike suddenly. I want to be the snake. I want to attack them while they think their lustful thoughts...their last breath will be taken while I kill them and they will regret ever noticing me...remorse makes the blood taste better." As Buffy spoke, I noticed how articulate her language had become, like mine had. I think vampirity comes with a certain poetic style for some. Buffy and I had been gifted with eloquent thoughts, while greed and bloodlust ruled most other vampires' inferior minds, such as Spike and Harmony's.  
  
Of course Buffy and I craved blood; we thrived on it...but at the same time we savored it. Blood was a delicacy for us. We appreciated it like a fine wine. Spike drank it like water...he never really considered the fact that the humans he so strongly despised, provided him with his unlife.  
  
She closed her eyes, took in a deep, unneeded breath and exhaled slowly and evenly. "It's almost time. I can smell the sunset approaching." she smiled and sighed softly. "I can hear their blood...I can feel it."  
  
Buffy suddenly opened her eyes...they were flashing with excitement. She leaned over me and kissed me on my forehead. I looked up at her and smiled. We had about an hour before we could go outside. "Whatever shall we do to pass the time, Angelus?" she said grinning alluringly.  
  
"I'll give you one guess," I said as I sat up and placed a kiss on her icy lips.  



End file.
